After a few weeks of them being incredibly understanding and accommodating, I received an email telling me I was underperforming. I thought (based on what we discussed when I disclosed) we had an understanding that my workload would be temporarily reduced and that I would be able to have a bit more flexibility with schedules. They said they would work with me on an ongoing basis, and I was sure to check in with them frequently. I nonetheless tried to do better despite what I was dealing with.
A few weeks later, they fired me. This completely caught me off guard, even though they had offered me an agreed-upon reduced workload while I took appropriate steps to manage my panic attacks. When I first disclosed, my manager was kind enough to even call my doctor for me and make sure I had support navigating one of the most unprecedentedly difficult periods of my life. They called the team "la familia", after all! I do not share an "attitude of gratitude" after what followed.
When they told me they were letting me go, I was dumbfounded and disoriented. I knew I wasn't on my "A-game", but I tried to be transparent about it and I thought they were in my corner. While I wasn't able to take on as much as I would normally, I knew I still hadn't made any grave mistakes or caused any major problems at work. They just decided they were done. The company constantly preaches mental health advocacy, so this felt completely inconsistent with everything leading up to it.
Being young and inexperienced at the time, I let them pressure me into signing some papers I shouldn't have (basically promising that I agreed not to sue). I wasn't given the chance to really consider what was happening - I was in such a vulnerable state that I could have signed over my house and not realized I would come to regret it. I even asked if I could leave the meeting for a few minutes so that I could gather my thoughts, but they called me back in after barely 10 minutes. They pretty much manipulated me into signing something that I was not in a state to sign, and I think they knew that. They watched while I quietly packed my things because they wanted me out of the building before people came back from their lunch breaks.
This experience messed me up for years. I still get nervous when my current boss asks me to close their office door behind me, even if it's for something trivial like planning a surprise party for a coworker. I don't think I'll ever believe another employer again when they say they champion mental health support. This was downright shameful and deeply, deeply hypocritical.
