My team lead changes almost always the title of our pull requests - without informing us, even if these titles follow an agreed convention. The wording is only his arbitrary choice. Sometimes he pushes changes to my branch without informing me. My engineering manager closed a PR of mine directly without commenting not informing me. Am I wrong to consider these behaviours as passive aggressive and abusive?
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It's 2 years I am bearing that and whenever it happens, I get anxiety spikes and just want to quit my job. Then I look for other jobs, but the thought of finding other abusive biased men as managers makes me want quit software development alltogether.
When I first started at my previous job I had two senior full stack developers always tearing through my PRs to the point I wouldn't be able to push anything through because it wasn't their standard or they didn't like my solution (which would work). It got so bad that I reported the harsher guy to HR. But I would find a new job if I was you tbh. There are a lot of better companies out there. I hope you find something better soon. We need more women in STEM!
Speaking as a female staff software engineer who has been a tech lead on several teams, I think your team needs to establish a better PR process, so that you feel respected. But as a lead, part of my job is to make sure the changes are well understand, and updating the title is part of that, as to help the release management. Closing the PR is more of a problem to me. What I would recommend is to remember that (sometimes a little difficult for engineers who care about their work), you are producing work for the team, and your code is tool and your code is not you. I must admit that I would update the titles, commit changes, and also close unused branches as well as a tech lead. But I would always let the author know before doing so. I think the main issue is that you did not get the respect you deserve, perhaps not the act of updating your PR specifically. I would recommend you bring it up privately to your lead and manager, but I would recommend that you remember this is work, your code is not you, and it is a tool to get the business objective done.
i had this happen to me and was constantly being yelled at and degraded others on my team said go to hr i did and it made it way worse team mates called hr and nothing happened and it was so bad it caused me to have stress stroke which i ended up quitting then to continue to be messed with afterwards as i would do plenty of interviews and even had one company introduce me to the team said he was just waiting on a call from previous manager after 5 interviews /test and meetups team was all yes cant wait to work with you , then ghosted had people from my former team that were my old boss pets randomly ask me if i was applying anywhere and if so what role i was all no just taking a break because i knew better i even had one company tell me my old boss told them that i would call HR and say discrimination for any reason. and due to that they would not hire me im like what !! so im not sure as i have not had a single acceptance interview since then ive applied to over 400 plus roles in the last 3 months with not even a test interview so im lost now for any hope on landing a job if he is still doing this.