Customer Loyalty Team Member Interview
-The Zappos Family
If you could throw a parade of any caliber through the Zappos office what type of parade would it be?
By the looks of this place, someone already had a clown parade and they all stayed.
I'd throw a parade where the front line would be made up of clowns dressed up as dinosaurs riding unicycles while juggling live sharks which are also dressed as dinosaurs, preferably T-rex's. The second line would make up about 20 hot pink lamborghinis with monkeys driving them while celebrities are on the roof tops singing hit singles all while trying to be louder than the next celebrity. Third line will be all the Victoria's Secret models shooting puppies and sloths out of T-shirt cannons at fellow employees. Then, the CEO will come out on a giant, bus-sized Michael Jordan signature sneaker wearing pimped out limited edition gold/diamond plated Zappos gear while Skrillex and Deadmau5 are behind him with their turn tables blasting new music. Last line is gonna be about 50 ice cream trucks, but since everything else cost so much, only vanilla will be available.
This is not an unusual question if you are at all familiar with the Zappos.com culture. I have personally witnessed a parade through their offices.
A marching band of men in high heels
Sandy Kristal on
A costume parade. It's fun and creative and lets people show some alter egos in an acceptable way. Sometimes you just want to be someone else for a day.
This parade would consist of 500 people all dressed in black, high heeled, Jimmy Choo stilettos, wearing nothing but nude colored spandex, with 14 double stuffed Oreo cookies balanced on their heads. Should any parader drop any of the Oreo cookies they would be forced to change out of the Jimmy Choos and into a pair of Crocs, which would be super glued to their feet. In addition, there would be 400 cats wearing miniature Uggs. These cats were last fed on Monday, and so they would be meowing their faces off. This would look like the cats where very unhappy wearing Uggs. Also there would be 300 tarantulas, chasing the cats, adding to the fear/anger factor. These tarantulas would not be wearing shoes, because come on, tarantulas don't wear shoes. Right behind them would be 200 enormous elephants, with 17 fluorescent colored Nikes dangling from each of their necks, balanced on 27-foot high stools, which have been precariously placed on skateboards. The stools are for the elephants protection, because they are afraid of tarantulas. They're also afraid of mice, but PETA jumped in last second and claimed animal cruelty if we were to use the mice in this parade. And lastly, right behind the elephants would be one naked, obscenely hairy man named Tom. And yep, you guessed it, he's wearing a pair of TOMS shoes. But not on his feet, they're tied to a 47-foot long banner that has been weaved into Tom's long hair. And that banner says: Zappos: where we don't just eat animals, we wear them.
The parade would be staffed by willing participants of the facility. It would start and end in the shipping dock and warehouse to honor them because that is where the hardest work is done. Participants in the parade would get any pair of company shoes for 1/2 price for wearing them in the parade. Participants could also choose any pair from their home regardless of characteristics from Goth boots to sneakers, but sneakers must not create an odor. Those who do not participate may stand or sit (EEO) along the route and get a free beverage and are encourages to cheer on the parade. They also get to vote for the shoes they thought were best and worst. The music would be patriotic songs of the country the event is taking place in. no exceptions. That way no one can complain except traitors, who will be shot. Anyone wearing uggs or crocs would get a gift check in compensation for embarrassing themselves to "take one for the team".
C. Magnus on
Naked would be best
Everyone Dress in Your Most Comfortable, Socially Unacceptable As Outside Clothes Clothes and Gorge on Your Favourite Guilty-Pleasure Snacks While We All Amble Along the Street Like Unrecognizable Sloths
the one from Ferris Bueller's Day Off
Gender swap kicks, girls wear shoes they'd wear if they were a guy and guys wear shoes they'd wear if they were a girl. Bonus: whichever intern wears the highest heels leads the parade.
I think for the largest, most joyous parade it should start with all the great employees Zappos didn't hire carrying banners of the places they were hired or a big, blown up copy of the unemployment check. After that there should be a long procession of attorneys, dressed as sharks.... oh wait, they don't need a costume...with a list of everyone who didn't get hired and the irrelevant questions the were asked that disqualified them from employment. Then there would be a processiong of kids carrying comic books to honor the stupid "If you were a superhero which one would you be and why" and then a band with every instrument playing their own "theme song" to honor the stupid questions about "If you walked into a room and your theme song was playing what would it be and why?" Finally, to honor all the people who still can't buy from Zappos because of limited sizes... every drag queen in the world who has feet bigger than women's 11... and they should all be wearing crowns in honor of the psych test photo opp and the thrown... last but not least a procession of people dressed as another form of throne... toilets... for all the crap at Zappos!!
A superhero parade! Superheroes from both Marvel, DC and other sources (e.g. powerpuff girls). Just any superhero! It would be pretty cool! Either that or a bunch of people dressed in banana costumes running through the halls while doing a choreography and singing to some catchy song (perhaps one about Zappos?).
A samba school parade. Wonderful
AMAURI JOSÉ JUNQUEIRA on
Cleanliness parade in every corner of the city with unique colored clothes that draw attention to the public
It would be a "Get Your "Zappos Azzztec" to Zappos.com Office Parade As they all parade through the office with thongs & bare azzes each wearing a head dress and 2 cans of silly string yelling "who's next my co-workin pain in the azztec"? LMAO
in the snow!!
Sandra Kristal on
One where employees would parade around in the ugliest pair of non-Zappos shoes they own. Everyone would vote by putting a shoelace necklace on the person they thought had the ugliest shoes. Winner would get a certificate for 50% off a pair of Zappo's shoes.
Donna A. on
The parade would consist of pirates and ninjas and pirate ninjas. Best parade ever.
I would throw a samba parade, complete with drummers and dancers. I'd invite everyone to participate - and you could choose to dance, drum or watch. :)
Jessica Taylor on
I would throw a floral parade. all participants would wear floral headdress with drummers and everybody will dance with the beat of the drum. sooooo enjoy!
That depends on who's paying for it. Am I paying for it personally - or is Zappos paying for it after you hire me ?
free sandals for everyone.. so everyone can join the parade. even the man at the street.
One with lots and lots of shoes.
Brown Noser on
It would have to be a holiday parade like the Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade, because then I would probably have the day off too and not actually have to be there.